This is my first week of my new schedule, but more than just a work schedule. I am waking up with enough time to make breakfast, making dinner when I come home, with enough leftover for some yummy lunch choices. I am also going to begin implementing the every-other-Friday morning Mass, and every night I am reading a little bit.
It's been great so far! My body isn't quite used to sleeping in past sunrise, so I'm trying to train it. But otherwise, I have already been more productive this week than I had been any other week.
My mind, body, and emotions have been all tied up in these changes, and I haven't really had a moment to concentrate on anything else, including blogging. I have read some blogs here and there, and I wish I could muster up something worthwhile for you to read here, but alas, my creativity has taken a backseat for the time being.
I don't know if this is a defense mechanism, or what. Am I purposely not allowing myself to think about childlessness and the suffering involved in it, or is the peace I feel permeating through me to clothe my pain? I honestly don't know. All I know is that I feel great, and don't really want to rock the infertile boat!
I am grateful, I am peaceful, I am joyful.
Of course, there are always complaints. And I can all but assure you my very next post will be chock full of them. And, I fully expect at some point for the pain of childlessness to be felt again more poignantly. When these moments occur, I will be sharing them in all their hideous glory. That's what I'm all about. Open honesty, and striving daily to be less of a sinner (and often miserably failing).
But for now, and I don't care how long it lasts, I choose to live in the moment. This moment of gratitude, peace, and joy.