Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Lenten IF Prayer Buddies!!

Time really snuck up on me!

It is time to sign up for the 3rd Annual Lenten Season Prayer Buddies!!

This season, I will be organizing the IF Prayer Buddies for all bloggers who identify as Infertile/childless/waiting to adopt/fill_in_the-blank.

As in the past, you will be assigned a Prayer Buddy to pray for starting Ash Wednesday February 22nd through Easter Sunday April 8th. During Lent, you will be offering prayers, novenas, rosaries, lighting candles, offering up suffering, etc. for your secret Prayer Buddy and whatever intentions they specified. Those interested in participating, please email me at:

[email protected]

What I'll need from you is:

Your first name or first initial
Your blog address
Your intentions


Your full name
Your address
(Address can be provided if your Prayer Buddy plans to send you a small gift at Easter)

Sunday, Feb 19th

Mrs. Henderson has graciously offered her expertise (let's face it, PBs was just a bunch of names scribbled on paper until she came along!) in organizing a more General Prayer Buddy match-up (mommies/expectants/singles/fill-in-the-blank).
Please visit her blog for more information on the General PB Sign-Ups:


Jenny said...

Lent?? Already?? Crazy!!

Sew said...

Sad....This is sad. :(

JellyBelly said...


p.s. I bought a TON of pancake mix for next Tuesday. I'm in planning overload up here!

Being Refined said...

Yippee! Prayer Buddies! :)

CS said...

Great Idea to separate into two different lenten prayer buddy groups. :)

the misfit said...

Great idea offering one for the IF gals and one for everyone else who's interested, too. It was obviously a brilliant idea - everyone wants to participate! But I cannot get my head around the fact that it's almost Lent. When I have sorted this out in my mind, I will send an email :).

barbie said...

I am saddened by the fact that we have been separated into groups. I don't see how this is a good thing for our little community. Because I have a daughter after 12 years of infertility I can't understand what an ifer is going through? That's not at all true. I've dealt with IF longer than most on the blogs.... I absolutely get the pain and suffering. It's not something you can forget. I think this separating is harmful for our group. It saddens me that we have come to this.

Anonymous said...

Barbie, I don't doubt that you haven't forgotten what it was like to be childless. However, you overlook the fact that a childless woman who is suffering greatly because of her IF would have a difficult time visiting a mommy blog daily for six weeks. I can only do that on my best days.

Shouldn't this community be most sensitive to those who are suffering most and look out for those members' needs and desires first?

Please understand, I am not saying that mothers don't need prayers or don't have many difficulties to face. However, this community is the ONLY place where I as an IFer receive support and to make it the same as real life where I am constantly on the outside looking in on mothers and pregnant women and feeling left out is not appealing to me. I need a safe haven where I am surrounded by IFers. That's why I think having two separate prayer buddy groups is a good idea.

TCIE wrote about the divide that happens when IFers cross over and become mothers last year, I think. I remember there being much discussion in the comments, a lot of it from the moms denying there was a divide or trying to minimize it. But as a childless woman, the fact is I feel more supported by those who are in the IF trenches with me now more than by those who used to be in the trenches, but now have their arms full. Perhaps it would be different if I knew the former IFer well and we were good friends before her crossing over, but even in that case I doubt it.

-anon IFer

barbie said...

Anon Ifer, I don't overlook that at all. I understand that you might have to come to my blog where I have pictures of my daughter. Are we seriously at a point when we can't even look at at the the baby of a fellow IFer without getting upset? I honestly DON'T understand that. I've never been in that place. I can understand feeling like a fertile myrtle that pumps out a baby with out thought or appreciation would be upsetting but not someone that has suffered and succeed. There were bloggers that succeeded in Motherhood before I did and I STALKED their blogs. I was so happy for them, even though I ached with the desire to have what they succeeded in having.
That being said I understand that not everyone is like me. But the pairings could still be set up in a way for us to be one group and not upset those who wouldn't want to see baby blogs. I just think that splitting the community is the wrong way to go. We have always been strong because we were ONE together. I hate to think that ends because some of us became mothers.

Amy @ This Cross I Embrace said...

I don't see this as a breaking of the community at all. I have mulled over this decision for quite some time, and have received much feedback from those still childless.
We are all one body of Christ. We all still pray for and love each other. But for the "Prayer Buddy" installment, which began as a knock-off of the Prayer Buddies from the C.atholic Y.ahoo Infertility Group, it was designed as a way for one IFer to offer their suffering for someone going through a similar cross at a similar time. I believe that a still-waiting woman can BEST pray and offer sacrifices for someone who is carrying their same cross. Not to say that the flipside isn't true, but to "assign" someone a mother to pray for when they are suffering so greatly from not being one themselves is extremely difficult.
When we pray for our sisters in Christ from different places in this journey, it should be on our own terms, and not because we were told we had to.
Much like there are Cancer Buddy systems, where men and women are matched up with someone who has had a similar diagnosis and is in a similar stage of treatment, this Prayer Buddy season is meant to offer the same type of support. Of course by allowing people to match up with someone with similar diagnoses doesn't mean that someone who has been in remission for 20 years can't reach out and offer support to a woman who has just been told she likely won't live more than 3 months. But to match them together as Cancer Buddies is not the chief goal of that system. Nor does it break any bonds of people who have shared something in common in their lives.

Anon IFer thank you for sharing your insight, I know it is hard to share thoughts and feelings that can be misconstrued and unintentionally cause someone hurt.

Hafsa said...

I had to chime in and so glad that Barbie said what she said. I've been feeling the "great divide" for awhile now and the prayer buddies being split up is weird to me. I understand the reasons behind it but still it feels like because I have kids, I have lost out on a lot of the great friendships developed through this community.

I haven't done PB in a long time and thought what a great way to really get into Lent but the separation has me feeling weirdness. Sorry.

Amy @ This Cross I Embrace said...

I'm sorry you feel that way, too, H. I appreciate your honest feedback.

barbie said...

Using the cancer analogy if you were cancer buddies with someone and they went into remission and you didn't would you no longer be able to "identify" with them? Or no longer wanting to see or talk to them? I would think not, it would be a friendship developed through trial and heartache,a friendship that would hopefully last.
I'm certainly not saying that someone who is still waiting, childless to be given a mother with young children ( if that is something that would upset them) I think that could be worked around for sure but why can't a mother pray for someone still waiting? Yes it might take some finagling but I think we could still be ONE group. I have a lot more to say, a lot running through my head but honestly I don't want to upset anyone. We are sisters, in suffering and infertility. I have felt closer to you ladies on the blogs than anyone I've known IRL, you knew my cross and suffered with me. I hoped we could support and love each other no matter where life took us. That is what family does.

Unknown said...

Thank you TCIE!!!! Love this idea and being a part of it!!! SO happy that I have found all of you wonderful women who know how I feel!! God Bless!!

Amy @ This Cross I Embrace said...

"If you were cancer buddies with someone and they went into remission" was not at all my analogy. I said you wouldn't be assigned a NEW cancer buddy who has been in remission for 20 years when you were just told you would only live 3 months.
If you feel called to pray for someone, anyone, you don't need an assignment to do it. Please do pray! This is about PB season only. You can email me with more thoughts as they come, I'm happy to speak to you more about this.

Karey said...

Just wanted to chime in and say I was among those who would not have been able to handle praying for a mom or pregnant blogger back when I was childless. It would've caused me a lot of tears, I'm sure, and I probably just wouldn't have signed up. So I get it. Honestly, this community was such a safe haven when I was infertile, that I didn't even have to deal with that. So I feel for you who are still waiting, tremendously. I think it's just a natural progression and doesn't mean we can't all still be friends or pray for each other outside of prayer buddies.

Perhaps in the future those of us with children could maybe be assigned an infertile blogger and she'd get double the prayers? I know, at least for me, I would've been touched by prayers from a mom. It just would've been hard to have to focus on her blog for six weeks. Just a thought. No matter what, you're all in my prayers anyway!

barbie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
barbie said...

I just want to to sure and clarify I never said to stick and IFer praying for a pregnant or Mom blogger. All I said was I think there would be a way to keep us together in one group instead of being split. As TCIE requested I'll email her my thoughts instead of commenting more.

Anonymous said...

I don't have a blog and I didn't sign up to the Lent prayer buddies but I understand the uncomfortable feelings of being matched with mothers. I came to terms with my infertility and I moved on; most of the times I don't feel bad around kids and pregnant women but once in a while something triggers the old sad question: why not me?

Faith makes things possible said...

Wait....it's Lent?! My goodness where has the time gone?!

Because Lent seemed to sneak up on me, looks like I will be missing out on Prayer Buddies this go around...but I'll definitely be keeping bloggers in my prayers!