So, after making my decision to stop "trying" to conceive (quotations, as I've explained before, necessary due to the fact that obviously since I have ovaries and my husband has sperm, the chance is always there to conceive, unless we stopped having sex altogether), I had tons of emotions zipping through my head. Like I said, it's not like I can put my intense desire for a family on a shelf, or bury it under the cold winter ground. Pregnancy announcements still hurt, as do adoption announcements. I've received some amazing emails and messages from fellow childless women who reached a similar place in their journeys, and I know I'm not alone. (Thank you.)
So, I discussed all of this with a co-worker/friend last week, after I finally got my period and realized that yes, this decision was being put into place. We always have such wonderful discussions, and she was very supportive of me. I left work and went to the health food store for groceries for the week. I wound up getting a ton of stuff, and the bill came to $222.34. When I saw the total, I told the cashier, "Hmph. That's gotta be good luck,right?" She reached down under the counter and pulled out a book, gave it to me, and said, "I don't know- but you can look it up!" The cover of the book said something about Angels and Numbers. So, I leafed through to the number "222."
It said: "Trust that you are exactly where you're meant to be. Let go and have faith."
After paying the bill and loading up the car, I immediately texted my co-worker to let her know about this amazing God-incidence. She actually had to remind me that the address of our NaPro Center is ALSO 222 ;)
I knew when I made the decision that fear aside, there was a peace within it. But it's always nice to have confirmation that you're doing the right thing.
Now... what in the world am I going to do with myself in 2012??? Any ideas? ;)