Blech, I needed to get that post off of the top of my blog. I hate dwelling in our inadoption. It's enough to drive anyone batty.
So, I have this medical theory which just kinda dawned on me today. Here goes:
I spotted pretty heavily after both my HSG and my sonohysterogram, for several days. Clearly my cervix (or my "os," hahaha) doesn't like foreign instruments up in her grill, dilating and such... can you really blame her? That's a hole that wasn't meant to dilate unless a baby was about to pop through.
And this funky spotting that I've had recently has been like CLOCKWORK starting on P+2 and ending by P+4. (The reason for the sonohysterogram - because the cyclical nature of the spotting suggested hormonal origin, but my hormones are normal on P+3.)
Today is P+3. NO SPOTTING. First cycle in four. What's different about this cycle?
When I was still spotting after the procedure last Monday, it went until Wednesday, and then I had Dr B check my cervix to make sure everything was ok. The spotting at that point was mostly brown, indicating old blood, and my early post-Peak bleeding was ALSO mostly brown. Dr B. verified that there was NO ACTIVE BLEED in the cervix, so this was just old blood coming out.
Today, in the absence of my post-Peak bleeding, I remembered something else about this cycle (post-sonohysterogram). My MUCUS was better than it has been in a long time. I always have stretchy, clear, and lubricative around ovulation, but it has been a weird gummy/gluey consistency for the past 8+ cycles. But this cycle it wasn't gummy at all, and in fact, may have been the best mucus I've ever laid my eyes on :) If I do say so myself.
Could the dilating of my os (hehehe) have unplugged something that was blocking my cervical crypts, and caused some old blood to drain out and in essence "refresh" the cervix??
To add to this theory, I started to think of why it is that my bleeding WAS taking place on P+2. That would be the time of my cycle when my cervix is closing... so maybe my cervix OPENING and CLOSING on its own was causing this funky brown bleeding... which would MEAN, that my tail-end brown bleeding (TEBB, brown bleeding at the end of the menstrual flow) may actually be related to cervical dilation in the presence of a "plug" somewhere in my cervix - old blood coming out due to the dilation.
The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. My TEBB went away with NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING. Not Naltrexone, not progesterone, not Dr Toth's chock full o' antibiotics in every orifice - NOTHING, except for early on during treatment with Dr Toth... and that just happened to be the same cycle where he performed a CERVICAL SCRAPING, where he scraped the cervix to get rid of the old cells and calcifications.
Making sense to you now, isn't it??!
By golly, I think I'm on to something here! I can't wait to see if the next period is TEBB-free, and then I think I can prove my theory!
And then I'll have to thank Dr B for "unplugging" me!
In other news, my MIL loaned me a book that her sister bought her for her birthday. Her sister (one of many) is a psychiatrist. She bought her "On Fertile Ground - Healing Infertility." Um... yes, you read that right. My MIL's sister bought my 66-yr old MIL a book about Infertility for her birthday.
After the weirdness wore off, I started to realize how cool that actually was of my Aunt-in-law, and my MIL to be so interested in understanding what we're going through. After reading it, she told me her eyes were really opened... and she gave my DH a big hug (I haven't seen her in person since she's read it, but he has) and told him she can never fully understand, but that she understands so much better now, and she's so sorry. Isn't that so sweet?
So now I'm reading it, and I must say, she had me with the first paragraph. I don't have the book in front of me, but basically this is what she opens with:
"Infertility is like walking through a minefield. You never know when the next step will set off a grenade and you will be completely rattled to your core. To those of you reading this book as you go through the journey, you know exactly what I mean. To those of you reading this book to better understand a loved one or friend who is going through the journey, that may seem a bit overdramatic. But I assure you - it is not overdramatic AT ALL."
I'm almost halfway through and it's a good read thus far.
Gotta run, my a cappella group is videotaping an audition tape for "The Sing-Off" tonight. We likely wouldn't even be able to go on the show if we miraculously made it, but it'll be fun to try anyway :)