Sunday, December 5, 2010

Christmas Message and my poor husband

First, I want to post this awesome excerpt from Father Corapi- a Christmas Message I think everyone can benefit from, but in particular those of us still waiting:

Christmas Greetings

An excerpt from Father Corapi's book, "Letters"

In the course of a life's journey there are often stretches of bad road. It seems that some people have an easier time than others, but it is a rare individual that never encounters a rough stretch. In recent years, perhaps that's why I have found an increasing number of people that liken themselves to old cars. One poor woman said she felt very old. When I reminded her that she was only 39, she responded that she's like a three year old car - not that old, but with over 500,000 miles - most of it over bad roads.

It is a rather well known fact that the Christmas holidays are the most difficult period many people face all year. Many of my pastor friends tell me that more people die during the week before Christmas than any other time.

With the erosion of family unity has come sadness, all at a time that should be joyful. Sometimes we can only be happy by willing it, often not merely by feeling it. Reality demands that at Christmas we will to be happy, after all "A Child has been born to us!"

As I look out my window the snow is falling and the pine trees are clothed in Christmas white. It is very silent, perhaps a prelude to a silent night not far off. At a time when the forces of evil are relentless in their attempts to not only take Christ out of Christmas, but to suppress Christmas altogether, we must be just as relentless in our efforts to give glory to God through his Son, Jesus Christ.

This year approach Christmas as you would approach the Christ Child himself - with reverence and with thanksgiving. Allow nothing to rob your joy at this precious time. Sadness has no place in reality, true reality, for the Word has become flesh and dwelt among us. Humanity and divinity have been joined in Jesus, now come to us as an infant. In the cold winter of human hearts there is often no room at the Inn for the Holy Family. Make room in the warmth of your heart for the infant King the Lord of Lords and King of Kings. Often the greatest joy is experienced by giving something to others: A smile, forgiveness, perhaps the gift of faith itself.

Have a most blessed and merry Christmas, and may God give you the Gift who contains all gifts: the Holy Spirit.

God bless you,

Fr. John Corapi

I am absolutely going to try this approach this Advent season. So far, so good. I think it's been a little easier this year because we haven't put our tree up yet, as we usually do on the First Sunday of Advent. We are waiting until we are in the new house (which is an advent all of its own!) and then hopefully the emphasis will be on the excitement of celebrating the coming of our Lord in our new home, and not on "here were are again decorating another tree without a child."

Today I was struck by how optimistic and hopeful my husband is. Is it just mine who does this, or do others of you notice your hubbies still getting excited about your cycles and believing you may be pregnant?? For my own sanity, I don't even think this way anymore. Not that I'm pessimistic or not hopeful, but I figure if it happens, it happens, and I'll eventually find out when my period's late. But I can't keep living through the "2WW" (two week wait) anymore. Today at church, before Mass began, DH noticed that Wednesday is the Feast of Immaculate Conception, and he looked at me and said, "Oh wow, when do you implant??" I just looked at him with the blankest of stares... I literally had NO idea what he was talking about!! He repeated, "When do you implant, it would be around Wednesday, wouldn't it?" It took me another 5 seconds to catch on, and then the light bulb went off. "OHHHHH, you mean if I were pregnant? Ummm... yeah, I guess sometime this week... not really sure..." He was so excited to think that I was pregnant and could be implanting on the Feast Day of our Lady. It broke my heart to see him so giddy like that. I know that sounds harsh, and one of the things I LOVE about my husband is his optimistic nature... but I just know how much more it hurts when you've put all of your hopes into a cycle, only to see it once again fail.

Unless of course my Prayer Buddy happens to be a miracle-worker.

Speaking of Prayer Buddies, I have really enjoyed praying for mine!! I hope that she is benefiting from my prayers. I LOVE Prayer Buddies!!!
As for the poor soul who has the fruitless job of praying for my sorry barren butt, your prayers for the house closing soon would be appreciated!

I'll end with my favorite line from the above passage, which I have to keep repeating to myself over the next few weeks:

"This year, approach Christmas as you would approach the Christ Child Himself - with reverance and with thanksgiving." I certainly wouldn't approach Baby Jesus with dread, sorrow, and anxiety, as I've approached many Christmases in the past. Gotta remember this...


[email protected] said...

You are awesome. That's all.

Awaiting a Child of God:) said...

I love this. That's all:)

Hebrews 11:1 said...

Beautiful post! I heart you. Mucho. Your prayer buddy is so lucky. :)

JellyBelly said...

I totally believe that our husbands are cut from the same cloth! It's incredible how optimistic they are!!!!

Thanks for sharing Fr Corapi's message!

Mary said...

Wonderful, wonderful post- Thank you.

Kathryn said...

Yes, my husband amazes me by thinking that I might actually be pregnant every month. *sigh* :)

But you and I are cycle buddies this month, I think. Your implant story (which cracked me up) made me calculate to the best of my ability when I would implant, and I think it will be this week sometime. That's not stopping me from having a glass of wine right now though!

prayerfuljourney said...

....Allow nothing to rob your joy at this precious time. Sadness has no place in reality, true reality, for the Word has become flesh and dwelt among us....

Wow those words just spoke volumes to me..allow nothing to rob your joy at this precious time..hmmm...I've been robbed of my joy...I need to work on getting it back. I love that letter and your dh is so sweet and cute. My dh has no clue what is going on with my cycle unless I tell him or shove my chart in his face. Haaa...that's good that your dh is still hopeful.

You never know...your prayer buddy could be working really hard on your behalf.

BTW: Thank you for the kind comment on my are right..while I "wait" I might as well make good of my time and help others..especially my students. I needed that....I really did. Teaching is a noble profession and God has me doing this for His greater good. God Bless

Second Chances said...

Thank you for posting that message from Fr. Corapi. I really needed to read that today.

Our husbands are amazing, aren't they? My husband would be hopeful all the time over the almost 8 year span of our secondary IF. He amazed me. I wasn't even cycling properly! Or medicated! And we hadn't even found PPVI yet so we had no hope, and yet he was still hopeful. Must be part of God's design for us hopeless ladies :)

Catholic Mutt said...

Wow! I really needed that. I do have to work to be joyful, but it really helps to think that we do need to be joyful at this time of year. Thanks for sharing!

Lisa said...

Keep the faith and hope-- remember... our husbands lead us spiritually. Maybe he has a special connection about this. Praying this special month!

Anonymous said...

Husbands ARE eternal optimists, somehow. (err, except when it comes to selling our house...then mine becomes a realist, darn him)
This is a beautiful post.

The Comeaus said...

Your husband is adorable!!

My husband is the same way, and I feel heartless, but I often find myself telling him, two or three days before my period comes, "You know it's just the normal things I feel before a period, right? You know we do this to ourselves every month, thinking every little symptom means I'm pregnant. You know that, right?" I say it so gently. He really is much more hopeful about it each month than I am and has this silly little smile whenever I say that to him, so I can see that what I'm saying has no effect! :) I do, however, keep that hope alive until I'm very sure it's time to let go. And I do hate the 2WW....

Maybe we women don't have the same "optimism" because we know our bodies so well and we will just KNOW when we're pregnant. It was like that with my son. I knew a week before testing positive because our souls had connected, and I remember the very moment and place where it happened. I doubt that will change.

I'm with your husband: a December 8implantation would be lovely! At the same time, oh, I've given up trying to predict when these things will happen. God will take us by surprise. :)

About Fr. Corapi's message (I love that priest!), I think the word "allow" is really powerful because it reminds us that we do have control over what happens with our pain in that we can allow it to destroy us, or we can use our wills to keep the cheer of Christ alive in our hearts even with pain. Even the desire to do this is valuable, so I truly do admire you and I, too, am not going to let the emptiness of my womb rob me of the joy of Jesus this Advent. Our priest recently said in a homily, comparing spiritual dryness to an empty womb (on CD 1 for me--wow!), "An empty womb is full of potential." I struggle with that one, but I know it's true.

the misfit said...

OK this is funny, because now that I work on the math, I would be implanting on approximately Tuesday (p was Thursday), if I were pregnant, which we know I am not. But I have to dispute your DH's theology - wouldn't the proper measure of conception be the date of fertilization? Not that it would be uncool to implant on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, of course!

Also, I was planning to ask you a question on this very topic (really). I have an ultrasound appointment tomorrow (Tuesday) to figure out what's wrong with my ovaries, and they were hoping to see whether I had a dominant follicle pre-ovulation. But I peaked early, so it will be p+5. Will they be able to tell whether I ovulated looking that late? I've never had that looked at, and I'm kind of hoping they can verify that for me.

LifeHopes said...

Thanks so much for posting this, its definitely the most compelling thing I have read in a long, long time. I am going to forward it to friends and family.

As always, I continue to pray for you by name. (and will step up the prayers for the house closing too!)

Amy @ This Cross I Embrace said...

Misfit, yes I think they should still be able to identify a corpus luteum at p+5. It will have irregular borders. It will appear differently than, say, a luteinized unruptured follicle, even at this stage.
It would be good to see the thickness of your lining at p+5, also... make sure you ask them for that.

It's funny you mentioned about implanting not being the measure for "pregnant," I actually said the same thing to DH. He said he knew that, but still thought it would be cool to "implant" on a special Feast Day... kind of like testing positive on a holiday... you were pregnant BEFORE testing positive, but still pretty cool.

Joy Beyond the Cross said...

Thank you for posting Fr. Corapi's reflection, it is beautiful and food for thought. I am really trying to take this Advent very slow and incorporate a lot of stillness because I can't bear any more hecticness. Thank you for the reminder. (Oh, and I think your hubby is cute. I think about stuff like that a lot...)

... said...

Lovely post. Your husband sounds like the balance you need. We all need a little hope in our lives.

Unknown said...

thank you!