Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Outlook Post

I considered deleting my most recent post from today before publishing this one, but then I thought twice. That first post was honest, raw emotions and honest, raw reaction. If nothing else, I have always intended this blog to be a place where honesty reigns supreme. I hide nothing when it comes to my emotions. (Maybe this isn't always a good thing, but I hope that in doing so, it will show others who may feel the same way that they are not alone.)

Anyway, I was just visiting one of my favorite blogs :) I was reading about my dear friend's recent ponderings on how she is going to handle everything that is going on in her life when it only gets more stressful. My heart opened to God as I read, and what seemed like such obvious advice for HER then translated to obvious advice for ME.

And that is, God is only showing us how strong we CAN BE with Him at our side.

Seriously, how many times have I moaned, whined, and complained on this blog in the past 1.5+ years that I "just can't take any more!!" (Um, please don't go back and count, that was a rhetorical question and I'd be embarassed to know the actual number!) Seemingly, and not coincidentally, God has blessed me with an additional load of weight to carry upon my cross with EACH and EVERY complaint. Not as punishment - rather, as proof that I am stronger than I give myself credit for. But ONLY WITH HIM can I continue to carry the ever-growing burden of this cross. Without Him, just as my moaning would suggest, I would have been defeated long ago.

This is not the end of the world. It is not even the end of MY world as I know it. I can think of much worse things that can happen (many of which already have, HA!), and if I have been able to move on from those things, I can move on from these, too.

When I proclaimed to put my faith in faith, I meant it. I know I am still here and still have a beating heart only by the grace of God. And so be it. I have faith that this, too, shall pass and that things, some way, some how, will work out.

But, Oh, isn't carrying the cross FUN??!!! ;)


Joy Beyond the Cross said...

Awesome reflection and great insight. You are correct and I try to remember that more and more, we are utter dust (earth dust, stardust - whatever) ;) without HIM and HIS active presence in our lives. The illusion of control is just that - (oh, but believe me I HATE thinking about that - I want to believe I can control things in a certain way). Anyway, thank you for this post. I will be thinking about it at adoration this evening. God Bless!

Meg @ True, Good and Beautiful said...

YES! I totally get this! In my recent post I wrote a little bit about how I realized that I am so fickle and that it's only through Him that I have strength and am able to carry this cross with grace.

Having faith in faith. I like it. Praying for you.

Second Chances said...

Amen! Our family has been focusing a lot lately on how little our material possessions mean in the long run. Our faith is such a huge gift that nothing else compares.

T said...

TCIE- thank you for this great reflection. I really pray for all the best for you and your husband.
I recently came across my copy of "Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence" and (re)read the following: "Generally speaking, one day of adversity can be of more profit to us for our eternal salvation than years of untroubled living, whatever good use we make of the time."
I should post that on my wall as a reminder, especially for when I feel so weighted down by the cross. :)

Hebrews 11:1 said...

What a great way to look at it, I've honestly never thought of it that way.

Lauren @ Magnify the Lord with Me said...

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's NOT fun!!! I hope that's sacrasm in your comment. If not, you have REALLY embraced your blog title, my friend!

I don't thinking the climbing the mountain is fun, but I'm SOOOOO ready and looking forward to the mountaintop experience. Sorrow, pain, suffering...I've paid my dues. Bring on the glory!!!

Ahem...I mean...beautiful post. :)

barbie said...

Not fun at all dear friend and yours happens to be really heavy, but you are amazing at carrying it with grace and dignity, and we love you for that!

Megan said...

You are amazing. :) I'm going to say that one more time: You. Are. Amazing.
Wonderful reflection! Something I have been working on in my own life is abandoning myself to God's will and saying "Thank You" to God every time I feel even the slightest discomfort physically or emotionally. And I read that when we forget to say Thank You, or don't really feel like saying it, we can later say Thank You for the difficulty we had in saying Thank you the first time. haha It sounds like a load of gibberish when I type it out, but basically... we get so many graces when we abandon ourselves to God's will and recognize His wisdom even when we can't see where He is taking us.

... said...

Not fun at all, but you handle it gracefully.

I told someone once (in regards to the m/c) that I was tired of saying I could not handle another one b/c every time I thought I had reached my limit, I was given more and managed to make it through. I just came to accept that I was capable of more than I thought.

Lauren @ Magnify the Lord with Me said...

You've got me thinking. I've been thinking about this post ever since I read it the first time! I wanted to add how much I like how you point out how when you complain and He adds more, it's not for punishment, but more to show you how much you really can bare- how strong you really are.

Such a beautiful post and spirit you have. You exemplify your blog title well.

I hope and pray your mountaintop arrives soon.

Sew said...

Lauren posted a few weeks back a quote from St. T that said Jesus if this is how you treat your friends no wonder you have so many enemies. Coming from her innocence, I just have to laugh!

But I also think He is showing you how much love and trust He has in you....You carry a heavier cross then what I would have been able to carry. But you AMAZE me and I know that doesn't help you in anyway.

I pray my a$$ off for you and have faith that this too shall past. :) I also do not believe for one instance that the situation around is all about you either...... ;) Because in our marriages there are two souls that are destined on the path to heaven. ;)

the misfit said...

Yeeees, I have no trouble agreeing with what you say, intellectually. It's just that dealing with all of this is so darn UNPLEASANT.

The Comeaus said...

I just started a new cycle today after so much reason to hope it would be different this month. I do not want to be upset with God, and things were going in that direction until I came here and read these words of hope. THANK YOU.

I am praying for you and your husband to have the house you want so much. It IS beautiful. We lived in a couple of old homes, and yes, they DO have a lot of character!


The Comeaus said...

One more comment from this corner...

This evening at Mass, the priest's homily was SO fitting for me and I wanted to share it. My husband and I have just gone through a very painful relocation and feel so lost and confused about everything at the moment. Our very first Mass at our new church, the priest said in his homily that it isn't so important to UNDERSTAND the cross--just to carry it. He said, "It doesn't have to all come together and make sense and we don't have to do it perfectly; even Jesus fell three times and wanted Simon's help." He also added that, NO, it is not fun! How funny, after reading your post just last night...

I know these are things you've reflected on, and so have I, but a little reminder can often come at just the right time. I am trying to give up trying to "make sense" of my crosses and just accept them, letting God be God. How difficult! Perhaps the confusion of the cross is the very hardest part because we have zero control... it is for me, anyway.

God bless you!