I considered deleting my most recent post from today before publishing this one, but then I thought twice. That first post was honest, raw emotions and honest, raw reaction. If nothing else, I have always intended this blog to be a place where honesty reigns supreme. I hide nothing when it comes to my emotions. (Maybe this isn't always a good thing, but I hope that in doing so, it will show others who may feel the same way that they are not alone.)
Anyway, I was just visiting one of my favorite blogs :) I was reading about my dear friend's recent ponderings on how she is going to handle everything that is going on in her life when it only gets more stressful. My heart opened to God as I read, and what seemed like such obvious advice for HER then translated to obvious advice for ME.
And that is, God is only showing us how strong we CAN BE with Him at our side.
Seriously, how many times have I moaned, whined, and complained on this blog in the past 1.5+ years that I "just can't take any more!!" (Um, please don't go back and count, that was a rhetorical question and I'd be embarassed to know the actual number!) Seemingly, and not coincidentally, God has blessed me with an additional load of weight to carry upon my cross with EACH and EVERY complaint. Not as punishment - rather, as proof that I am stronger than I give myself credit for. But ONLY WITH HIM can I continue to carry the ever-growing burden of this cross. Without Him, just as my moaning would suggest, I would have been defeated long ago.
This is not the end of the world. It is not even the end of MY world as I know it. I can think of much worse things that can happen (many of which already have, HA!), and if I have been able to move on from those things, I can move on from these, too.
When I proclaimed to put my faith in faith, I meant it. I know I am still here and still have a beating heart only by the grace of God. And so be it. I have faith that this, too, shall pass and that things, some way, some how, will work out.
But, Oh, isn't carrying the cross FUN??!!! ;)