Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Feel Like I'm Going to Throw Up * UPDATE

(and let's just clarify right off the bat, I'm on CD 2.)

Well, it appears as if this "new phase" of my life is really only to be a glimpse of what I cannot, and what I will never, have.

In going through the mortgage process, we are hit by a number of issues - surprise, surprise, most of which are the SAME ISSUES I have had with the whole way my DH is "payed" by his FIL in the family business and the weird landlord/son relationship on top of it. Right when we got married, I remember sitting down with them explaining how important it was for us to literally PAY rent every month. I thought this would not only help us to budget and to become financially responsible adults who are in control of their living arrangement (albeit still while living on their premises), but it would also REQUIRE that they pay us AT LEAST enough every month in order for us to MAKE that payment. I was immediately shot down. No, no, no, that's just silly, because then we'd BOTH have to pay taxes on that income.


But now? Banks have no proof that we have been paying rent these past 4+ years, and rather, they have to submit that we {choke} LIVE WITH OUR PARENTS RENT-FREE on our mortgage application. Fan-freaking-tastic.

Additionally, our credit is only decent. Mine is better than DH's, but I have some recent issues on there due to the financial strain we've had over the past several months and inability to pay bills.

Finally, DH's income is nothing to write home about. It SHOULD be more than enough to cover the mortgage on a $250,000 home (and then some)... but with all the other factors playing in, it is looking like we are not going to be leaving my in-laws' home... for quite some time.

To add to the giant pile of poo, I contacted my Supervisor at "work" (the externship I finished 2 weeks ago where I thought I'd be starting this past Monday) about what he knows about a start date, etc. I explained that we were going through a mortgage process and I really needed to know. He said that he has "nailed down" with the owner a 3-day a week position starting at $20/hr. $20/hr???? The average for ultrasonographers in this area just starting out (pre-registry) is $25. On top of that, the average for ultrasonographers holding a Bachelor's Degree (pre-registry) is $30/hr. I CANNOT do this for $20/hr!!

I am trying not to be defeated by all of this information, but I just don't see how any of this is NOT horrible news.

I finally got my heart set on something other than becoming a mother (trust me, this was no easy feat). All I have wanted my entire life was to be a mother. But, ok, I'm 29 years old, I have more time to invest in this in the future... as long as I have something else good to work towards now.

I fell in love with this house. I truly did. And I was certain we'd be able to afford it. (I still know for a fact we CAN afford it, but the banks seems to have a different opinion.)

I can think of no better gift right now than a spiritual bouquet, and I have to thank all of you for participating in that beautiful offering. I am surely going to need those prayers this month.

Why??? Why can't I catch ONE BREAK?? I am SO TIRED of investing my hopes in things that end up blowing up in my face... so very tired.

*UPDATE: We contacted a mortgage broker who is being very proactive for us, and also very candid. He said straight out that we will need to improve DH's score by 2 points, and in order to do this we need to make another couple of payments on time and wait for it to reflect on our report. This will take a month. Additionally, our income taxes will need to be filed from 2009 (our accountant is still working on them) which takes 6-8 weeks. So, only in October will we be eligible to make an offer on a house. BUT, at least in October we will be eligible. It may not be the house we want, but oh well, I am more than used to not getting anything I want by now.


barbie said...

oh sweetheart I'm so sorry! I will say that our glorious President has made getting loans SO MUCH more difficult than it normally is. We have been borrowing with the same bank for YEARS with Grant's construction and this year? Nope, can't loan to us. I can only hope than a new regime will change these nutso requirements they are forcing on banks. As always you continue to be in my prayers.

Megan said...

Ugh, TCIE, every part about this post just sucks... I'm sorry. :(
I am praying my heart out for you.

[email protected] said...

Prayers for you. I am so sorry, it just doesn't seem fair *hugs*

[email protected] said...

Oh, no. :( I will be praying for you to get this worked out pronto! And that you will get your dream house in the end!

When your day finally comes, with house and baby (and it will come), I think the bloggers will erupt in a happiness not yet seen! I can't wait for that party! :)

the misfit said...

I know this is not my business, but, if I may...if you don't get to buy a house in the next few months, I would move out and formally rent an apartment. It will help with your finances, possibly your credit score, and, it sounds like, your peace of mind. Your in-laws are effectively using your living arrangements to increase their cash flow and (probably illegally) decrease their tax burden - at your expense. I'm sure they mean well, but it's not good for you.

And one last thing - you can change your credit report more than you may think. If you have debts you've paid in full that read as having been paid late in the past, call the creditor and ask them, in view of the fact that they have been paid, to retract that statement with the credit reporting agencies. For anyone looking for a last payment from you, tell them that you're in a difficult financial situation, but you can find the money to pay them off this month (perhaps ahead of others) IF they can switch that reporting to "never late." They'll almost certainly do it.

Meg @ True, Good and Beautiful said...

Just imagining the party that Leila mentioned got me excited. Someday it will be YOUR day.

Until then, I'm praying. Hard.

Sunshine said...

If the house is meant for you it will be yours! So far, you haven't lost that beautiful place. You just can't offer anything YET. Keep going and my first thought was you two should get your own place even if that means an apartment like Misfit said. Do what is best for you!

Blessed and Broken said...

another recommendation, call around to Mortgage Brokers and ask if they will "manually underwrite" you. Our financial counselor talks about this. As we are not big fan's of credit, it allows them to look at all the factors, rather than your credit report, to issue a home loan. Good Luck!

LifeHopes said...

The misfit has good advice for you, I second her thoughts on the practical side of things.

Thank you SO much for all the words of encouragement on my blog, as always, I continue to offer up my sufferings for you by name, and every time I pray, God brings you to mind. I can understand how you would be frustrated as all get out in light of some of these circumstances that are beyond your control. Ugh. I do hope and pray that, at the very least, you can see some progress on the home-buying front, if not a BFP (which I am REALLY praying for) asap. Yes, when that day comes, we might all descend upon NJ to celebrate!!!!!!!!!!

Little JoAnn said...

I second the misfit (BIG TIME) here. And, dare I say my sweet Sister in Christ, don't post too much about taxes as you would never want anyone (that is not in your corner) to have anything over you. I agree time to move out (if you don't end up getting the mortgage) and establish a traceable rental/payment history. And, time for your husband to insist on being at least a 1199, independent contractor, which means they will not lose out. I hire independent contractors at my job and I follow all of the rules, it's no big deal. For the employer, this means they will not have to pay FICA and Social Security. I think it is important to be on the up and up. It's effects your whole life! That is what I have seen.

My experience is when we put our houses in order (in the small stuff and especially in the financial stuff) the big stuff gets worked out. Parable of the faithful servant.

ALSO DO NOT SELL yourself short! In the State of NJ you should not work for $20 a hour. I definately have major experience with this. Whenever I took a job underneath my paygrade it never improved my life. NEVER. They will end up treating you poorly and will try to take advantage of you. Praying for you.

Praying that a very good position comes your way very quickly. Absolutely, you deserve no less than $30 an hour! I say, you deserve more.

Lots on your plate. But, I know you can do it. And, the good news is, it's hard for everyone to get a mortage these days, so that house, if you still want it, will likely be there.

Hmmm...your in-laws sound sweet but times have a'changed. Everything is computerized now a days. There's a paper trail for everything...