Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Consecration Renewal and Archangel Raphael

Tonight I am starting my renewal Consecration to Mary, to culminate on August 15th (yes, same day Prayer Buddies ends). While I cannot consecrate my Prayer Buddy to Mary (though I'd love to) I will definately be praying for her to Mary specifically as I embark on these series of prayers and meditations.

I am also going to start a Novena to Archangel Raphael. (For those who remember, he was picked at random to be my Patron Saint for 2010 by a Catholic blogger whom I've never met and who has never read my blog. Raphael means "God heals," and it is truly uncanny that this is the Saint who was picked for me... I think, anyway. You can read all the amazing details here.)

I need to get back to that place where I trusted that God has healing in store for me. I have been so hesitant to believe that it can happen for me... even less faith in it than I do in becoming a mother someday (through adoption OR pregnancy). Underneath it all, I feel like even if the miracle of pregnancy graced my life, I would be in grave danger of losing the baby due to all of my physical ailments. I just do not trust that God will heal me. (I trust that He CAN. Just not that He WILL.)

Hence, the Novena. I have not been relying on my Patron Saint much this year. Now seems to be the perfect time to enlist his help. Prayer Buddy, if you're reading this, I would love if you joined me in this Novena!

Tomorrow I will be CD 8. I get an ultrasound to view my follicles and lining, and bloodwork to test FSH, estradiol, progesterone, and LH. Then I will most likely begin a low-dose of Follistim tomorrow evening. Ironically, I will be leaving for the American Academy of FertilityCare Professionals' Annual Meeting next Tuesday evening... and that will be CD 14, when I assume I'll ovulate. I was fearful I would miss my first cycle post-surgery due to this meeting.

I am also getting another uterine biophysical profile (Dr Kwak's specialty Doppler pelvic ultrasound to measure bloodflow to the endometrium) on Friday.

And for those wondering... I did end up making the executive decision to take Lovenox this cycle. I figured it couldn't HURT me, but it certainly could harm me to NOT take it. The prednisone and Intralipids I will not take, because those always made me feel "not right" anyway. So I am doing a combined Dr Check/Dr Kwak protocol.

Will keep you posted.


Megan said...

Praying for you! The story of Raphael being chosen for you is awesome! :)

[email protected] said...

I just have to believe that all this will culminate in the most astounding miracle for you! St. Raphael, pray for TCIE!

Little JoAnn said...

I am with Leila1

mrsblondies said...

I remember reading about when St. Raphael was chosen for you and how perfect it was. You also have some oil if I remember correctly. I third Leila, I'll be praying for your miracle to come soon!

Sew said...

It isn't will it happen, it's when it will happen!

And if you don't start believing it for yourself that God will heal your punk ass, I'm coming up there! ;) hahahahaha

Ppl who don't know our relationship might think that is harsh of me to say. Just thought I would clarify! ;)

Percolating Petals said...

St. Raphael is one of my favorite saints. My husband and I prayed to him during our dating and engagement. He's an amazing intercessor and did some excellent work in the Book of Tobit. :)

the misfit said...

I read all about the total consecration years ago and realized that I just couldn't do it. I've always admired - and been a little intimidated by - people who did. As to St. Raphael - I have been a huge fan of St. Raphael for ages, not because of his healing focus (that would be Tobit's blindness there), but because of his status as the patron saint of discernment and those finding their way (that would be him leading Tobit's son Tobias on a journey to help heal Tobit's blindness. It all goes together). All of which is leading up to: I don't know whether you've read the book of Tobit, but if you haven't, you would love it! That is the place in the Bible where St. Raphael makes his appearance, and it's a beautiful and fun story (and very short, too!).

OK, I'm just realizing that other people have mentioned this too. But read it, if you haven't read it!

the misfit said...

And, I am going to risk all sorts of catastrophe and dispute Sew here: I know God plans healing for your heart and beauty and joy for your life. Whether He wills that that will come through a healing of infertility and children I can't say. But the important thing, to my way of thinking, is that "you'll find joy and a good life" does NOT mean "you'll have a baby," and that if (or until) you have a baby, that does NOT mean that your life isn't worthwhile YET. God calls some of us to things other than motherhood. (These are all things I understand in my head - now, I need to get to where I can accept them in my heart. So I can spout them at you, but can't claim to practice what I "preach"...oh, well. You don't need me to tell you how to walk this journey, when you've been such an example to me.)

Amy @ This Cross I Embrace said...

Misfit, you are full of the wisdom lately!! Truly, your words have been such an inspiration and so heartfelt- thank you! I totally agree, by the way. I know in my heart that God CAN make all things new. But whether or not that is in the plans for me (physical healing of IF) has nothing to do with His awesomeness or my finding joy in this life. (True, I have not found it yet, but I'm getting closer thanks to these blogs and all the support and advice.)

Suzie-Q T-Pie said...

That sounds wonderful! Sending prayers your way, I hope this brings you peace and all sorts of blessings! ;)
St. Raphael, help TCIE!