Tonight I am starting my renewal Consecration to Mary, to culminate on August 15th (yes, same day Prayer Buddies ends). While I cannot consecrate my Prayer Buddy to Mary (though I'd love to) I will definately be praying for her to Mary specifically as I embark on these series of prayers and meditations.
I am also going to start a Novena to Archangel Raphael. (For those who remember, he was picked at random to be my Patron Saint for 2010 by a Catholic blogger whom I've never met and who has never read my blog. Raphael means "God heals," and it is truly uncanny that this is the Saint who was picked for me... I think, anyway. You can read all the amazing details here.)
I need to get back to that place where I trusted that God has healing in store for me. I have been so hesitant to believe that it can happen for me... even less faith in it than I do in becoming a mother someday (through adoption OR pregnancy). Underneath it all, I feel like even if the miracle of pregnancy graced my life, I would be in grave danger of losing the baby due to all of my physical ailments. I just do not trust that God will heal me. (I trust that He CAN. Just not that He WILL.)
Hence, the Novena. I have not been relying on my Patron Saint much this year. Now seems to be the perfect time to enlist his help. Prayer Buddy, if you're reading this, I would love if you joined me in this Novena!
Tomorrow I will be CD 8. I get an ultrasound to view my follicles and lining, and bloodwork to test FSH, estradiol, progesterone, and LH. Then I will most likely begin a low-dose of Follistim tomorrow evening. Ironically, I will be leaving for the American Academy of FertilityCare Professionals' Annual Meeting next Tuesday evening... and that will be CD 14, when I assume I'll ovulate. I was fearful I would miss my first cycle post-surgery due to this meeting.
I am also getting another uterine biophysical profile (Dr Kwak's specialty Doppler pelvic ultrasound to measure bloodflow to the endometrium) on Friday.
And for those wondering... I did end up making the executive decision to take Lovenox this cycle. I figured it couldn't HURT me, but it certainly could harm me to NOT take it. The prednisone and Intralipids I will not take, because those always made me feel "not right" anyway. So I am doing a combined Dr Check/Dr Kwak protocol.
Will keep you posted.