Saturday, November 28, 2009

2 Nagging Feelings...

AF has arrived in all of her bloody glory, but not before first psyching me out and making me think perhaps I was one of those women who don't test positive until day 18 or something. I am never late, in fact, when I'm not taking post-Peak hCG (which has been all but 2 cycles), I am like clockwork on medicated cycles. And she was no where in sight ALL DAY P+15. To add to it, I was having in and out cramps... you know, like the ones Sew and other women have had right before they test positive?

So, that was fantastic. I was all ready to go for blood work this morning when sometime after midnight I finally saw spot. Lovely. Thanks so much, AF.

I will be going back out to Chicago to get another Doppler ultrasound (biophysical uterine profile) on Dec 9th. Dr. Kwak won't be there, she's away for 3 weeks apparently, but she doesn't need to be there for the ultrasound. It is to check to make sure 60 mgs 2 x day is sufficient for my blood flow to the zone of implantation (remember, 40 mgs 1 x day was NOT enough).

But I also have these 2 nagging feelings. 1 is a feeling I've had since my surgery last April '08. In the surgical report, and in our post-op appt, Dr talked about a cyst on my left fimbria, which he LEFT THERE, because it is, evidently, a very common thing for women with PCOS. He did say that both fimbria were "beautifully formed" and that this cyst should not be interfering with anything.
But ever since then, I've noted that I am much more inclined to ovulate from the left side than the right. Whenever I do ovulate from the right, it is almost always in conjuction with the left due to ovulation meds. (In other words, I cannot remember a time I have ONLY ovulated 1 follicle from the right side.) I have joked with my Dr that I am left-ovaried.

But is this a little more than a coincidence? The left is the side I'm always ovulating from, and the left is the side with that nasty cyst on the fimbria? I think I'll call and ask Dr. about this.

Second, my very first immune testing was done in April '09 with the Sher Institute (SIRM), and the Dr. called to let me know the results were all ok, with the exception of 1 partial DQ Alpha match for me and DH, which "is not a problem in conceiving." I googled it immediately, because far be it from me to trust the advice of an IVF Dr :P but it looked like he was pretty much right. There is 1 partial match that is dangerous, but we didn't have that 1.

(In laymen's terms, apparently a DQ Alpha test is to ascertain whether you and your DH are too "close" a match for conception to occur. If the egg is recognizing the sperm as an entity too close to itself, or something like that, you cannot conceive.)

When I asked Dr. Kwak about it, she very logically explained to me that this test used to be used much more frequently, before we had the capabilities to test for all these other things, like NK Cells, and cytokines, etc. She said she and her lab actually ran the DQ Alpha test for the OJ Simpson case back in the 90s, and that it took a looooong time to do!!! (How cool is that?!) But that it is more of a "predictor" than anything else - like, how likely is the couple to experience troubles conceiving, type of thing.

But after 2 failed Kwak-protocol cycles, I'm beginning to wonder. Could either, or both, of these 2 things be standing in my way of conception?
I think SIRM treats DQ Alpha matches with Intralipids, the much cheaper version of IVIg. And I am thinking if this Christmas cycle fails, I may bring my barren ass back to the IVF Dr and demand some Intralipid treatment. Just for a cycle. See what happens.

And I'll also see what Dr. has to say about the cyst on the fimbria... maybe he'll re-think its potential for harm after seeing how many failed LEFT OVULATIONS I've had since then.

PS. Can't wait for Prayer Buddies to start! Tomorrow! (It'll keep my mind off of my worst day of the year, 1st Sunday of Advent... putting up the tree... remembering the last year when we KNEW we'd be parents by this year... sigh...)


Joy Beyond the Cross said...

Me too! I am looking forward to the prayer buddies starting. Have a blessed 1st Sunday of Advent. I hope something GREAT happens that takes your mind off the normal stuff that goes along with this day. God Bless, - Marie

mrsblondies said...

I'm really looking forward to the prayer buddies too. I'm sorry that tomorrow is a rough anniversary for you. I hope that your drs. have some suggestions on what your next move is.

prayerfuljourney said...

Boy, you are really digging deep in the mystery of why conception isn't happening for you. I don't think I'd have the patience..gosh what I have already done seemed like too much. Good for you! I wish I had half the perservance that you have...I pray it all works out for you and your dh. You are sure putting a lot of work into it...and we all know..if the end result is our's all worth it.

I'm looking forward to my prayer buddy too. It will be so nice this Christmas season to know someone else...who most likely has never met you...will have you in her thoughts and prayers! I love it.

JellyBelly said...

I had a similar nagging feeling before I had my first surgery. I KNEW that there was something wrong with my insides and my surgery just proved that I was right!

In hindsight I wish I pushed for a lap a LONG time ago, but obviously that wasn't the path that I was supposed to be on.

Advent and Christmas are always the most difficult times of the year for me too. I remember our first Christmas as a married couple and I got a BFN on Christmas eve morning. I knew four years ago that there was something really, really wrong.

I'm praying for you!

Thankful said...

I hate it when AF holds out just long enough to allow the "hope" train to gather steam. Great post, though - I always learn something from what you write.

Sissy said...

I had a moment the other day when I was hanging the stockings, thinking I should have been hanging a baby one this year too. It made me sad, so I can completely relate.

LifeHopes said...

Well we are AF buddies then. I started on Saturday, just when I was beginning to hold out some hope.

Now I am bleeding so heavy I am soaking a pad AND a tampon. Ugh!!

I hope and pray you get to the bottom of this!

Joy Beyond the Cross said...

Hi TCIE! I wanted to e-mail you - but I couldn't find your e-mail address. Anyway, I posted on another blog that talked about St. Andrew today that I am making St. Andrew chaplets out of cord rosary twine. I have extra red/white and blue/white, along with St. Andrew medals, and the Christmas novena prayer card. If you (or anyon else for that matter) would like one, you can send me a note and I will send it to you - free of course. I just thought it would be cool to hand them out to other people that would be praying the prayer as I think some of our intentions will be the same! ;) My e-mail is [email protected] I hope you have a blessed Advent and St. Andrew, pray for us!