Sunday, July 12, 2009

Finally CD 1, and my SIL sucks * ETA

I had pre-menstrual spotting AGAIN this past cycle. I am going BACKWARDS, here, people!! WTH?? I am so disappointed in my weak corpus luteums :( Or lutei. Whatever, I never took Latin.

It was 6 days of spotting, again, making a 15 day post-Peak phase, again. Well, at least it was consistent! I am just so happy to finally be on a flow today because a) this cycle I take Femara AND Lovenox, and it's gonna kick ass!, and b) the cramping was really getting annoying. I normally cramp the night before my period comes and then on CD 1, but my uterus was just really confused and kept cramping and stopping for the entire 6 days of spotting.

I finished all the paperwork that I'm preparing to send in to Dr. Kwak-Kim in Chicago. I need to get all my labwork together from the past 6 months to send along with it, which means I'll need to wait another week since my Dr (and I) will be away at the Annual FertilityCare Conference in PA this week. I'm hoping to get an appt. with Dr. Kwak-Kim lined up for last week in August or early September. When I called their office, they said the wait is about 1 month.

My SIL just came over to my in-laws, and DH and I were just over there having a chat with them and relaxing after Mass. So, she showed us her new car, and afterwards I came over to our apt (remember, we live in an attachment to our in-laws' house), and DH went back over to his parents house with her. She knows that we started the adoption process, she knows all about our infertility, etc. and I *think* she knows that the homestudy process was delayed 6 months (my MIL usually tells her everything).

Anyway, her BFF is a gay gothic guy who rents a room from my in-laws upstairs in their house. He was also there, apparently, when DH went back inside with his sister. (Following thus far??) My SIL is somewhat "lost" in terms of her spirituality, though raised Catholic like DH, she fell away from the Church years ago and has since been seeking something to fill the void. She's dappled in Wiccan-ism, but by no means practices ANY religion.

OK, so here's the part where she truly pissed me (and DH) off. After going back into the house with DH, she says, "Oh, there's this young girl who is giving birth in 3 weeks and wants to give it up for adoption. But, she'll only adopt out to Wiccans. Hey, J {her friend}, do you want to adopt a baby with me?" DH couldn't believe it. Before he could even say anything, my MIL (who is basically RAISING my SIL's daughter), goes, "C, you don't even spend time with the daughter you have now!" And SIL responded with some catty response, while both my MIL and DH walked out of the room.

Now obviously she isn't seriously entertaining this idea (although, knowing my SIL, she would do it even if she didn't want to, just to show us that she can and we can't). But DH is SOOOO upset that she so blatantly said something like this just to upset him. She has always been competitive with DH, and jealous that he was the baby of the family and displaced her. But c'mon, now, you're 36 years old, GROW UP!

I am beyond ticked off right now. But I am so happy to hear that my MIL actually put her in her place, because my MIL tends to favor C and take her side in all things. (I'm not sure if she was defending DH as much as HERSELF from having to raise another baby if SIL did adopt, lol!)

Can you believe this?? This is the kind of "support" we get from DH's family. OK, maybe that's not so fair, it is just this 1 SIL who is acting like this. She is so freaking selfish, I can't stand it.

Oh, and to top things off, do you know who raised her daughter for the 1st year of her life? Me. That's right, when I was preparing to become a teacher and had just moved to NJ, I was my neice's nanny. Only at that time she was my boyfriend's niece. And I worked (I shit you not) 12-14 hour days.

Grrrrr, I am just so mad right now. I have to think about something else.

Well, one interesting fact about my cycle is that because CD 1 held off until today, now CD 14 will be on... my birthday!! (I generally ovulate on CD 14 when on Femara.) How exciting! :) When I told DH this, he said maybe he'll give me some special birthday lovin'. I told him, "It's not your birthday." Hehe.

**ETA: Oh, she wasn't kidding. If you can believe it, she actually does want to adopt this baby. She grabbed ahold of DH again, in the laundry room which is the part of the in-laws house attached to ours. I got suspicious when he was gone for so long, so I came inside and caught the tail-end of the convo. (I listened through the wall.) It went something like this, "So how much is it to adopt? We just really want to help out this poor baby. We know it would be sort of a weird family for it, with a single mom, a gay goth dad, etc..." DH was just dumb-stricken, he kept saying that the process takes a while, but he knew enough not to come across as offended in any way, because he knows his sister- - she would have JUMPED on his insecurities and done everything in her power to go adopt. He's hoping that he was able to turn her off to the idea.

OMG, I can't even breathe right now, I just CANNOT BELIEVE she had the audacity to do this and then ASK DH FOR ADVICE about it!!!!!


prayerfuljourney said...

Oh, the ignorant fertile people out there. Criminey! Your SIL was out of line and completely rude. May God forgive her for being so insensitive to your dh and you. It's hard to have to deal with people like that but when they are's completely different. We can choose our friends but we can't choose our family. Right? Whenever your SIL starts talking...just pretend she's saying "blah, blah, blah." So, that young mother wants to adopt her child to a wiccans or whatever family? That's insane. We all need to pray for the child. Do you remember that show Felicity? Didn't one of her friends practice wiccan? IT's some kind of witchcrafty alternative goth type of thing right? I've heard of it but since it's not my scene, I can't say I know much about it.

I hope your next cycle is a better one. I really haven't had any spotting since my surg but this month I'm taking progesterone which is working out great. No complaints. Whew. Sounds like you have some exciting stuff going on...good luck with it all and you are in my prayers. God bless.

mrsblondies said...

Spotting sucks. I'm glad that you are moving forward with working with Dr. Kwak-Kim.

I'm sorry that your SIL was being so insensitive, especially with how she has treated her daughter.

You and your DH will be in my prayers.

Hafsa said...

Holy smokes! I am livid right along with you, does she have any idea what tact or sympathy is? I cannot even believe how unfeeling this chick is! I have to talk about something else... I find spotting absolutely frustrating, My Dr. suggested I take prometrium beginning on P+3 in order to end the premenstrual spotting. I don't know if that would work for you as well. Just thought I'd mention it.

A said...

WOW. I am almost speechless at your SIL! Maybe in addition to your DH's comments, your MIL will talk some sense/courtesy/logic into her, since it seems like she was not happy with the comment to begin with!

I'm sorry about the spotting- luckily I didn't spot before this cycle, but for about the 3 previous ones, I had at least one day of spotting- I was just like, let's get CD1 on the road, can we?!

Anonymous said...

Your ignorant SIL and my ignorant SIL can get together if you'd like. They sound pretty similar in nature. My catty SIL said to me, "I wonder when (other SIL) is going to have another baby? She said she wanted to wait until you had one first. I told her that was dumb to plan your babies around someone else."


the misfit said...

WOW. She sounds really unwell. On the bright side...if she did try to adopt, you could write a nice letter (confidentially) with all the information you have about her neglect of her own child and send it to the agency...I would think they would take something like that seriously...

the misfit said...

Oh yes and...I'm sorry my blog ate your comment. Much as I enjoyed the abbreviated version, I'm sure I would have loved the full-length. I have now disabled the word verification.

Praying for Hope said...

Sorry about the situation with your SIL. As my husband would say, she's a piece of work. Enjoy the conference this week!

Teresa & Connie said...

I hate your SIL. 'Nuff said.

I also hate that you're going thru all of this bull shit. I pray that your turn is coming soon mama.

You're in my mind all of the time. You and lil' Catholic homies. Haha.

Fight The Good Fight of Faith said...

:( she does suck! Praying for a better cycle for you

Living Advent said...

Your SIL does suck! Good thing your DH knows better than to fuel her fire. I'm praying for the whole situation.