OK, so I finally finished Sew's book, "The Surrendered Wife," and without giving too much away for those who haven't read it yet, it was a real eye-opener. I started surrendering when I was only halfway through it, and it's amazing the things I'm noticing already!!
For one, the book recommends that when your DH "resists" your surrendering control to him, because he's so used to you telling him what to do, how to do it, etc., you need to dig your heels in with the comment, "Whatever you think." Sure enough, I discovered that DH asks me A LOT about what he should do. Where to park the car, what treat to give the dogs, what dessert to order on the menu, etc. etc. (yeah, I know, surrendering has shown me just how much I used to control my poor DH, omg!!)
Anyway, I started telling him "Whatever you think," and last night the whole plan almost blew up!!
He asked my opinion on what to put on his pizza, and when I said, "Whatever you think," he goes, "Is that something your book told you to say? You've been saying that an awful lot lately!"
I turned beet red! Doh! I've been found out!
So I just turned around (my back was to him at the time), and after a long pause, replied, "Just... go with it."
He then told me that he actually liked it, that it made him feel like his opinion was worth something. (I swear, he hasn't read the book- - but this line is almost verbatim in the book!!) So, it must work for something!
He's also ALWAYS been so sweet with little gifts here and there, but I think I've started to notice them more, if that makes sense. Like, he bought me 3 candy bars this week alone!! And on one of them, he wrote a little note and left it in the car so I would find it when I went to work... before surrendering, I may have not accepted the gifts graciously, or complained that it was Lent and he shouldn't get me candy, or that with the extra dollars he should just put it in the piggy bank, etc... but now I'm just loving how many things he does for me on a daily basis :)
I also tried the whole "Express your Desires" thing by stating what it was I wanted, but not stipulating how I wanted to get it. My brush broke a while ago, and while brushing my hair one morning with the broken brush, I just said aloud, "I want a new brush." Yesterday, he came home with a new hairbrush for me, saying, "I heard you say you wanted one, right?" Granted- - it's not the type of brush I would have picked out for myself, and previously, I'm sure I wouldn't have received the gift graciously, but the end result is it gets the job done, and it combs out tangles, so what do I care if it's not EXACTLY what I wanted? Intimacy with my husband is more important than belittling him when he went out of his way to make me happy.
OK, next line of business- the Hydrocort. I spoke with Dr Hilgers nurses at length today, and the bottom line is he still very much wants me to try the Hydrocort treatment next cycle. He explained (to his nurses who then explained to me) that it is a very low dose with no link whatsoever to cancer- - and that it would be used to 3 months at which time I would re-evaluate my symptoms. Then it is only used until a pregnancy is achieved, so it's not an indefinate thing. That made me feel a lot better. BUT, I think I may not tell my mom that I'm taking it since she's still SO nervous about it. Is that horrible?? I just know how cautious Dr Hilgers is with all of his treatments- he wouldn't just take this lightly as an "experimental drug therapy," kwim?? I truly trust his judgement on this one- I feel like God has done such amazing things through this man already, and that he wouldn't allow his treatments to harm women. But my mother doesn't quite have that same trust in his as I do. (She actually had the nerve to remind me of the time I was a teenager and the Drs wanted me to go on the pill for my irregular bleeding and she was "firmly against it." Um, yeah, first of all I ws 19. Second of all, that was NOT Dr Hilgers!!)
Third line of business: I made an appt with a hematologist for Monday. I just want some additional information on this MTHFR from someone who actually specializes in blood, clotting, etc. So we'll see what he says. He was recommended to me by a Dr friend of mine who works at the same hospital- he told me this guy is the best in the State! (I think I'm secretly hoping he'll put me on Lovenox, because I don't think baby aspirin alone is going to get me pregnant.)
I'm looking forward to having our own "surrendered circle" here online once all of us have read the book! The financial part will be the toughest for me, but I think I thought of a way to do it that won't destroy our future! It will need to be a SLOW surrendering in that department, though.