21.3 was my progesterone results from P+8. (I couldn't get to the lab on P+7, plus, I secretly kinda like doing it at P+8 so that if they're "still high" I can pretend I'm pregnant. Of course, this doesn't always work out too well, because I can only guess what the level was at P+7, to know if it is higher or lower at P+8!)
My first reaction was, of course, devastation. I know 21.3 is a good, solid number at P+8, but when you're used to numbers like 43, 36, 29... it suddenly doesn't seem so hot. And of course, the nurse gave me the results as I was there today waiting for a follow-up client, so all through the follow-up I had to grin and bear it as if I wasn't dying on the inside.
Then I came home to a house that reeked of diarrhea (I know, nasty... my cats got wet food last night since we ran out of dry), and a mystery stain on the living room rug. Mystery Stain = a dark yellow stain that could have come from either a cat or a dog, from either a mouth or a... other side.
As I was cleaning the stain, I got a phone call from the Dr. She wanted to make sure I got the results from my P+7. I said I did, and then admitted I was a little bummed it wasn't higher. "It should be higher if I'm pregnant, right?"
She proceeded to tell me that she was just having a conversation today with someone about this very issue (progesterone levels in early pregnancy at P+7), and that no matter how much you want to be able to tell, you just can't from the progesterone numbers at P+7. I told her that it was actually P+8, and 9dpo, and her response was that this is even better, then. (I love her.) Apparently, before about 10 or 11 days past Peak, the progesterone tends to make an upward and a downward curve (peaking at day 7 usually), and that she has seen them just take off after implantation occurs. She said my numbers are consistent with a multiple rupture, and she reiterated that 21.3 is really, really good for 9dpo.
So now, of course, I'm back to not knowing anything. Which is at least better than feeling like it was all over, like I did before I spoke to her. I am really having a tough time just giving this to God! I even said a prayer to Our Lady of Mount Carmel last night, and repeated three times: "Sweet mother, I place this cause in your hands." She's probably looking down at me going, "Um, LIAR!" It's just so hard! How can I not obsess when this COULD be it??