I may be able to check in, maybe even post, while away, but I'll be going back home to NY to visit Grandma before she goes in to Calvary on Monday. (It is a huge comfort to know how well-respected Calvary is among hospices nation-wide.)
From what I've heard, she is doing amazingly well. She has made her peace with leaving this world, and is being so incredibly strong.
I did want to post a TTC update which has me once again feeling bi-polar. On the one hand, I am completely distraught about losing my Grandma. But then today I emailed Dr Toth to see if I can POSSIBLY TTC this cycle, since I will O about 1 week before my meds are due to finish. He responded YES! He added, "I'm not that bad of a guy." So I will not miss this cycle after all, and may even have a good shot at getting pregnant! Oh God, please!
The reason I feel particularly optimistic about this is because of a "sign" I received the other day. I discovered in a Christmas card from DH's aunt that his cousin and his new wife already have a baby. (They got married last fall, and the baby looked at least 4-6 months old, so it had to have been a honeymoon baby.) Well, I recently got active on F.acebook, and found this cousin on there. His baby's name is Rose. I messaged him to say the baby was precious, a late congratulations, and also that I loved the name, as it is my grandmother's name. He responded: "It is my wife's grandma's name, too. We named her that because we found out she was pg the same day we returned from her grandma's funeral. We immediately knew it was a girl, you know, the whole circle of life thing."
I have this crazy feeling that MAYBE my story will pan out the same way. My last hope is that I will be able to tell my Grandma before she passes that her prayers for us have worked. But one thing I know? If God's plan for us was to not achieve pg until my Grandmother was up in heaven to use her powerful prayer from up there, then I am very, VERY glad we had her here for the past 2 1/2 yrs. I would never trade that time with her for a conception in "our" time.
Here is my wonderful, stubborn, opinionated, faithful, loving, strong Grandma: