Let me just say, it is BEAUTIFUL outside right now. This is my favorite kind of snow... fluffy, coating everything but not sticking and melting. Gorgeous.
As I sit here on this New Year's Eve, I feel compelled to look back before I look forward. This is most likely due to all of the television series that concentrate on reviewing the "best" of this past year. Nothing immediately comes to my mind as being the "best" for MY year. But since I am determined to have the best in 2009, I think it's important to search for the good things that have laid the foundation in 2008. So here we go...
January- My false positive hpt. Often referred to as "the best and the worst days of my life" back to back. Positive spin?: Having experienced the emotions of a positive pregnancy test, I have had fuel to achieve a real pregnancy, probably for longer than I would have if I didn't go through this.
February- 1st consultation with Dr. S.tegman. (I was originally told that I would have the consultation in Dec '07 and surgery in Jan '08). Positive spin?: We had a very thorough appointment, and a plan for successful surgery.
March- Absolutely nothing exciting happened. Positive spin?: I ovulated on my own after discontinuing Clomid in February.
April- Surgery with Dr. S.tegman. Positive spin?: Endo was removed, tubes were unblocked, ovaries were re-sectioned.
May- Grandma got sick, and EPII (Education Phase II) in NY. Positive spin?: I am ovulating on my own without ovulation inducers! Grandma comes out of the hospital and tells me she is not ready to go, and that she wants to see my miracle first.
June- lost my school job because I took off for EPII. Positive spin?: I was hired to work for my Dr. as a Practitioner at her office.
July- Turned 27 without a pregnancy or a baby. Positive spin?: Got a nice haircut, and some great bathing suits.
August- 2 Year Anniversary TTC. Mental/Emotional/Spiritual Breakdown. Positive spin?: It was my phone call to Sister Renee at the PPVI Institute that prompted me to write to Dr. Hilgers.
September- Write a letter to Dr. Hilgers, being told it may take months to get a response. Positive spin?: Meet Dr. Hilgers for the first time at a Conference in Philly. Have my Dr hand him the letter and charts. He responds within 2 weeks(!!!) and refers me to Dr. Toth. I also become a long-distance patient of PPVI.
October- Testing with Dr. Toth in NYC. Very uncomfortable endometrial biopsy and prostate ultrasound. Positive spin?: We get our results, and can move forward with treatment.
November- Treatment with Dr. Toth, 10 days of prostate injections, uterine washes, and IV antibiotics. We discover my Grandma's cancer has returned, and has spread to her rectum and bladder. Positive spin?: We have a wonderful prognosis for pregnancy following treatment, are given the go-ahead to TTC after the oral antibiotics (many people need to wait longer), and if God feels it is time for my Grandma to see the love of her life again (my Grandpa passed 21 1/2 yrs ago), then I know they will be so happy together in heaven. And maybe her prayers for our baby will be even stronger from up there...
December- Grandma takes a turn for the worse, and family decides she just can't live on her own anymore. She is now in the hospital and will not come out until a nursing home is set up for her. Positive spin?: I'm still working on this one, because while I am not ready for my Grandma to go yet, I definately don't want her to suffer. But I do know that God chooses only very holy people to suffer for a long time before death (JPII, and various Saints, for example). It will be so hard to watch, but God's will can never be bad. Maybe I can offer my suffering up for hers.
So, as you can see, 2008 has really set the stage for 2009. Without many of the seemingly "bad" things, I wouldn't be in a position to ACTUALLY BELIEVE I can achieve pregnancy in 2009. It's still hard to wrap my mind around just how much has happened this year... and I pray that all of us will see the fruits of this year's labors in 2009.
Happy, Healthy, and Fertile New Year to you all!!