Thursday, October 9, 2008


Man, do I have a bad case this time. I have been SUPER-hormonal all day today. Granted, my dog puking 3 times on the carpet, leaving 3 separate yellow stains that I CANNOT get out with Resolve did not get me off on the right foot. But even I can recognize that screaming/crying "Why me??!!," sobbing on my hands and knees, is not my normal puke clean-up behavior. Then I would start randomly bursting into tears on the couch watching tv, just thinking of how horrible my life is. (Yeah, I know, it's really not all that horrible.) PMS bites the big one.

Also, AF was due today. I'm not technically late, because my post-Peak phases range from 12-14 ever since surgery. But today IS P+14, and 14dpo. Please don't get me wrong, I am not in any way implying that I have a chance in hell of pregnancy. 1st off, I know now that I need to be treated for infection before I really have a chance. 2nd, we used ONE day this cycle, and my cm was gummy throughout the mucus cycle. Not a chance. The reason I bring up being later than expected, however, is because my DA with Dr. Toth is tomorrow. It just figures I'd have to waste an hpt tomorrow morning before the DA... not to mention starting AF at any moment during the day, and most likely during the most inopportune moment (like a transvaginal u/s). Grrrr, I hate AF.

I must say, AF aside, I am really excited about tomorrow. I know DH isn't, since he does not like being poked and prodded and swabbed... but like I told him, he's gonna have to deal. I had entire wedges cut out of my ovaries, after all. The least he can do is get a swab sample! I really believe that tomorrow is going to lead us to our complete restoration of fertility. It's just so nice to think about: Restored Fertility! No more tail-end brown bleeding! No more low morphology (perhaps. I dream big.)

We'll most likely stay in NYC for dinner tomorrow after the DA. We don't go too often, anyway, and it will be nice to treat ourselves after spending a buttload on these tests. Then this weekend I have my On-Site Visit for my Creighton Model Practitioner training... for which I still need to prepare!! So excuse me in advance if I don't get to update you on the DA before Sunday. If I can, I'll try to fill you in briefly before then.

I hope I follow in the footsteps of all of the other great DAs all of you ladies have been having! Wish me luck!


Sew said...

Good Luck on your doctor's appointment! Sending prayers your way and I am so sorry about your PMS. :) I just wanted to say that I am BLOWN AWAY by Creighton! I mean, I have that TEBB as well, I am on CD9 and still have it, it is very faint but its dried blood brown. But that is not my point. My point is that it is not normal as I had believed it wasn't. I felt something wasn't right with my periods. But I couldn't get any doctor or OBGYN to agree or help me figure out. It was normal in their eyes because my cycles are normal. But anyway, still not my point. All I am trying to say is that the book you sent me answered SO MANY QUESTIONS! I have answers, not that I am diagnosing myself (already done) but to think that we have a chance at being healed. And if not we know exactly why we might not ever be able to conceive and we can move on. I have not once had a light at the end of the tunnel kind of feeling in dealing with this IF. But I feel it and I see it. I know I am preaching to the choir! But so relieved! Have a great doctor's appointment because you are so close to answers!!!!!

Meridith said...

ooooooo.... I hate it when AF is fashionably late....grrrrr.... I always have the WORST PMS during those days of waiting...

And good luck at your appointment!! Looking forward to hearing great news!!

Karey said...

Oh I'm so excited to hear how it went! Please don't make us wait til Sunday!!

I'm so sorry about your PMS. I've totally been there, dealing with something like dog puke and completely losing it. Or just getting out of bed and completely losing it for absolutely no reason at all! When I'm like that, everything relates back to infertility. Everything. I hope it gets better.

Nicole - that is so exciting! Creighton is great, isn't it?? I hope you find out everything you need to know. I'm sure you will :)

andnotbysight said...

Oh, I hope it goes well and that you get lots of answers! I hate it when my period is kind-of-but-not-really late. And, hey, you might try hydrogen peroxide for the dog spots. We just poured a little bit on the carpet and then rinsed a couple of times (I'd check a hidden spot for colorfastness first, though). It seemed to work when our dog threw up on the carpet!

Jodi said...

I can't wait to see/hear the results. I'll be sending extra prayers your way today :)