It's been bothering me for some time now (well, a few hours at the most, since I posted the last blog) that some may read my last post and be offended. I have heard comments in the past about how those opposed to IVF, for example, feel that the children that result from it are "less" in God's eyes than those conceived through an act of love between the parents. Now many of us Catholic bloggers here would, of course, view this as a ludicrous conclusion to jump to. However, if you put yourself in their shoes, it must seem like your infertility, and your decisions, are being attacked on all levels. We (infertiles) all go through experiences where someone clearly does not understand our suffering. To add to that desolation the feeling that even other infertiles may be looking down on certain fertility treatments that you are employing must be extremely difficult.
I mentioned in a response to someone's comment to me that I seldom find the right words to a)express my own feelings, and b) defend my religion. I'm much better in writing, when I can think things out, than I am in person, but even in writing it is a struggle. So, I did some research online, and found perhaps the BEST article about infertility in general, but also from a Catholic perspective... it deals with a variety of issues, statistics, emotions, struggles, and IVF. I would urge ALL of you readers to please take some time to read this article when you get the chance.
Here is the link:
Interestingly enough... the website and the audio on tape are called "Embracing the Cross of Infertility." Truly, I was meant to find this article :) (And I must be kindred spirits with this Dr. Meaney!)
I will quote my favorite section of the article here:
"If we feel crushed by the experience [of IF] and have the impression that we are therefore responding inadequately to it, this does not mean that we are doing the wrong thing: we can often be under the wrong impression that being abandoned to God's Will means that in Herculean fashion we will sail through these trials, be a witness to the world through our inner and outer strength, and that we therefore won't experience so much pain. But being nailed to the cross means experiencing great anguish. Even Christ did, and He is the Son of God. The only thing we can do is depend on Him, hold up this pain to Him, and ask Him to help. This alone will give inner peace."
Wow. How often have I felt that I "haven't given my Cross entirely to God" and only because I continued to "suffer" the depression, the anxiety, the mourning of infertility? Why did I feel as if I needed to be numb to it all in order to be doing God's will? But now, I can totally do this!! It's not so daunting after all!
I also want to end this post by reiterating that I in no way pass judgement on any woman or couple who chooses to do IVF. In fact, I can wholly understand the pressures and the desire to have a child so badly that this seems to be the only option. If you take anything away from reading my blog, I would hope that it be the love and hope that is inherent in NaPro Technology. God wants us to be healed!! As always, I pray nightly for ALL of my infertile sisters and brothers. Good night, friends!