Thursday, July 10, 2008

Selfish Prayer Request

I went to Mass today... I've been meaning to start going as often as possible on the weekdays ever since school let out, but today was the first time I actually got my butt in gear to get up and go. Of course, not only was I the youngest person there, but I think I was probably the only one not on Medicare.

Basically I went for the obvious reason of wanting to be filled with Christ's love and life. I also went because I've had a few rough patches lately where I've been feeling sorry for myself, jealous of others (ex-bff primarily) and just generally mopey. Thirdly, I went because I've been trying so hard to get my priest to help me set up some sort of outreach of the Creighton Model in the church. So far, he's run my ad in the bulletin about 5 weeks in a row (around Easter). But of course, I didn't get any contacts because the little blurp barely contained enough information to pique anyone's interest. I really need to speak at the pulpit. I'd also like the Pre-Cana team to start referring people my way if they are interested in NFP (which, I think should be mandatory for Pre-Cana, but unfortunately our parish doesn't work that way). And lastly, I want to start up an Infertility Support Group, much like All You Who Hope has done in her parish. I think it's a fantastic idea, and I so wish I had it back when we were going through some of our roughest moments in TTC.

But of course, after Mass I didn't even approach my priest. I just felt like it would be wrong to "use" Mass as an excuse to get to talk to him one-on-one. I've sent him emails already, but I just think he had been so busy back then (Communions and Confirmations) that he has completely forgotten about them. But if I don't do something soon, then a) July will quickly pass by, and July is the perfect month for CrMS outreach... especially this year. It is the 40th Anniversary of Humanae Vitae. And b) I will not have enough clients to finish up my training, have my On-Site Visit, take my exam, and become a certified Practitioner. So bottom line? I need to talk to this priest!!
Please pray that the Holy Spirit will work through me to find the very best means of getting in touch with him, and also of working out a great outreach program through this parish.

In other news... P+4 today, and I am back to lots of pasty, cloudy. I know it's way early, but I just feel like my normal Post-Peak pattern can't be a good sign. Damn. But if it fails, I still have a shot of telling DH I'm pg by the time our 2nd Anniversary rolls around. August 19. I should be able to test by then next month. So it won't be a total loss. (Just trying to look for the bright side, though is there ever really a bright side to infertility?)

I also got the most amazing email update from my Practitioner today. She and her DH also battled primary IF, went to PPVI twice for surgery... and began foreign adoption proceedings last year. They are now in Russia picking up their little girl!! (This is the baby shower I just attended last month.) In the email, they said they weren't sure if she would remember them from the last time they saw her... not only did she remember them, but when she heard they were coming, she refused to eat her afternoon snack and waited outside the orphanage for them, holding the teddy bear they had given her the last time!! (Now tell me you aren't crying right now, isn't that the most precious thing ever?!!) Then, when the social worker came to evaluate them, she asked the little girl where her mommy was... and she ran to my friend :) :) :) I can't even fathom how that must have melted her heart!! I'm crying again just thinking about it! How blessed they are to have found her, and how blessed she is to have them for her parents! God is so good!

Please also keep them in your prayers as they have their FORMAL court date tomorrow.


JellyBelly said...

that's so exciting for your friends and their new baby! they are in my prayers.

don't worry about pestering your pastor. he's busy, but you're trying to reach out and help people. maybe you can call the parish secretary (hopefully she's not a vulture like ours!) and give her a gentle reminder. from what i know parish secretaries have TONS of power!

Karey said...

That is an amazing story!

And you are in my prayers.

itwasthen said...

I wanted to tell you that I saw one of your comments on another post (jellybelly's) - about offering up our IF suffering for the good of children that might be aborted. I have been doing this for a while now, and it is so helpful in dealing with the IF month to month. When I start to feel really sad, overwhelmed, and consumed by IF, I offer these sentiments up to God and ask Him to make some good in the world through my suffering - specifically to help all who are in danger of abortion and to help end abortion. So, I love your idea!

Hafsa said...

How wonderful is daily mass? It has been a true blessing for me to attend and meet so many wonderful people. I am a preschool teacher and I discovered the beauty of daily mass during my Easter break. I am sorry to say that I've been lax on attending while I'm on summer vacation. Yours is one of the Catholic infertility pages I've stumbled upon and thanks be to God that I have found women struggling with this as well.

LifeHopes said...

Yes you are right, that story had me in tears. Beautiful.